Columnist Eric Thomas tells reader she must break 60-year-old family silence

Eric Thomas, the Philadelphia-based columnist who answers reader letters under the name Asking Eric, told a woman in a column published on October 28 that she should stop keeping two family secrets. The reader, who signed her letter "Sister With Secrets," wrote that she is the only person who knows her late older brother had a teenage daughter in the 1960s. She also revealed that her younger brother, who is still alive, molested her niece over an eight-year period. The niece is the daughter of the deceased brother. The younger brother’s wife does not know about the abuse, and the man has no children of his own.

Thomas responded by distinguishing the two issues. He called the hidden daughter a secret and the molestation a crime. He stated that the niece deserves justice, even if the law and time make achieving it difficult. Thomas said that if the niece did not ask the reader to keep the secret, the reader has an obligation to speak the truth. He noted that the family has stepped away from the younger brother, which protects the niece but does not address the root problem of the abuse.

The columnist advised the reader to tell the younger brother’s wife. He wrote that if the wife has not figured out the situation already, she needs to know who she married. Thomas said the reader owes her brother nothing and that the primary responsibility is to the niece and her healing. He added that the family likely supported the niece in other ways, providing care after the violation.

Regarding the late brother’s hidden daughter, Thomas pointed out that genetic testing is bringing this type of information to light more often. He said it is only a matter of time before the family learns the truth. He encouraged the reader to share the information so the family can decide if they want to try to find their half-sibling. Thomas noted that people often regret the time lost when they discover family they did not know they had. He said there is no guarantee this will happen here, but the family deserves the chance to make the decision.

The column appeared on the same day as other reader inquiries. One writer, "Civic Engagement," argued that school board members do not need to have children to serve effectively. They stated that board members are elected public officials responsible for overseeing taxpayer money and educational priorities. Thomas agreed with the points, thanking the writer for sharing the perspective. Another writer, "City Mouse," shared a personal story about moving from Indiana to Chicago and dealing with family interventions. Thomas replied that healthy familial relationships involve acknowledging that adults can make their own decisions.

Readers can send questions to Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. He maintains a weekly newsletter and an Instagram account at rericthomas.com.